Jul 11, 2022
You and your partner are arguing
about the same damn thing… yet again.
The same cycle. The same hurt. The same fights. The same pattern.
It feels like you’re banging your head against the wall trying to understand each other, yet you end up consistently feeling lonely, frustrated, and unheard. And maybe you feel like you couldn’t be more clear with what you are desiring for the relationship, yet it seems like your partner looks at you like you’re speaking another language. WTF!?
The cycle of battling for who’s “right” and who is at fault is a typical cycle many couples fall into. You both double down on who’s right and in the meantime, the walls between you grow stronger and more solid. The solution is getting truly vulnerable about what is happening emotionally for each of you, but how-the-hell do you start being vulnerable with someone you clearly don’t feel emotionally safe with!? Spoiler: You don’t.
On this week’s show, I dial up Figs O’Sullivan, a Marriage and Family Therapist, who has spent years working with frustrated couples at a crossroads in their relationship. We discuss how attachment styles, formed from childhood, affect how we connect (or fail to connect) with our partner, why we can’t just barge into conversations demanding our needs, and the absolute first place you need to start if you want to make marked changes in your relationship.
This pod explores:
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Fiachra “Figs” O’Sullivan, is the Founder and Chief Empathy Officer at Empathi, which provides step-by-step guidance for couples and individuals who care about their relationships. He is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, who is certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples and individuals, and a passionate entrepreneur, driven to change lives for the better. He strives to interact with the clients as fellow travelers on life’s journey, allowing them to easily dive deeper into their “stuff” with his down-to-earth philosophy.
Figs has spent years working with frustrated couples at a crossroads in their relationship; they want to make things work but are stuck in what Figs calls their “Waltz of Pain,” which led him to create Empathi! Inspired by attachment theory, improvisational dance and theatre, experiential psychotherapy, and Emotionally Focused Therapy, Empathi provides fun, effective and simple solutions to help couples stop fighting and snuggle more.
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